Quote of the Day (2012-07-31)

Rose Schwartz: Actors don't like to play coma. They feel it limits their range.

Source: Soapdish

Quote of the Day (2012-07-30)

[Niles' new ad, which should describe him as a Jung specialist]

Niles: Remember the ad I placed. They have made a tiny little typo. See if you can find it.

Frasier: Niles Crane . . . Hung Specialist

Niles: The rest they got perfectly. Servicing individuals, couples, groups. Satisfaction guaranteed. Tell me when it hurts.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2012-07-29)

It's a fine line between clever and stupid.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2012-07-28)

Narrator: Was it ticking?

Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.

Narrator: Sorry, throwers?

Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.

Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?

Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...

[whispering]

Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

Narrator: I don't own...

[Officer waves Narrator off]

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2012-07-27)

Sylvie: It is infuriating that your unhappiness does not turn to fat!

Source: Charade

Quote of the Day (2012-07-26)

Mac MacGuff: Thanks for having me and my irresponsible child over your house.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2012-07-25)

Jim Hacker: "Now look, I realise that you have to have loyalty to your colleagues, but you also have a broader loyalty to Cabinet and its policies."

Sir Humphrey: "I agree."

Jim Hacker: "You agree??"

Sir Humphrey: "Yes."

Jim Hacker: "You agree ... with me??"

Sir Humphrey: "I agree with you."

Jim Hacker: "Who do you agree with?"

Sir Humphrey: "With you."

Jim Hacker: "Not with Sir Frank?"

Sir Humphrey: "No."

Jim Hacker: "You're not arguing with me?"

Sir Humphrey: "No... Perhaps I haven't made myself quite clear. I agree with you."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-07-24)

"You know, it is so sad. All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-07-23)

Martin: Half your listening audience hears voices already, and the other half talks to themselves! If you don't show up, who's going to notice?

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2012-07-22)

There's only 150 of them!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-07-21)

Bart: [after they watch a foreign film] I was so bored I cut the pony tail off the guy in front of us.

[holds pony tail to his head]

Bart: Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year.

Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-07-20)

Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-07-19)

"I usually last about ten minutes on the stairmaster. Unless, of course, there's someone stretching in front of me in a leotard, then I can go an hour. That's why they call it the stairmaster. You get up there and you stare."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-07-18)

Who is the bigger fool? The fool, or the fool who follows him?

Source: Star Wars: A New Hope

Quote of the Day (2012-07-17)

Derek Zoolander: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2012-07-16)

Sir Arnold: "I presume the Prime Minister is in favour of this scheme because it will reduce unemployment?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, it looks as if he's reducing unemployment."

Sir Arnold: "Or looks as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Sir Humphrey: "While as in reality he's only trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Sir Arnold: "Yes, because he's worried that it does not look as if he's trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-07-14)

LAUNCELOT Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!

CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!

CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-07-13)

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

Westley: You're that smart?

Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Westley: Yes.

Vizzini: Morons.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2012-07-12)

Listen, lad. I've built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. The king said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. An' that's what your gonna get, lad -- the strongest castle in these islands.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-07-11)

Sir Humphrey: "It is characteristic of all committee discussions and decisions that every member has a vivid recollection of them and that every member's recollection of them differs violently from every other member's recollection. Consequently, we accept the convention that the official decisions are those and only those which have been officially recorded in the minutes by the Officials, from which it emerges with an elegant inevitability that any decision which has been officially reached will have been officially recorded in the minutes by the Officials and any decision which is not recorded in the minutes is not been officially reached even if one or more members believe they can recollect it, so in this particular case, if the decision had been officially reached it would have been officially recorded in the minutes by the Officials. And it isn't so it wasn't."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-07-10)

Moe: Hey, I don't need no advice from a pinball machine. I'll have you know, I wrote the book on love.

Grampa: Yeah - "All Quiet on the Western Front".

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-07-09)

Alicia: There's nothing like a love song to give you a good laugh.

Source: Notorious

Quote of the Day (2012-07-08)

Lisa Simpson: Dad, look!

[holds TV up]

Homer Simpson: Television! Teacher, mother...

Homer Simpson: [lustily] ... secret lover. Urge to kill... fading... fading... fading - rising! Fading... fading... gone.

[Family sighs]

Homer Simpson: Come, family. sit in the snow with daddy and let us all bask in TV's warm glowing warming glow.

[Hours later, everyone is frozen]

man introducing Tony Awards: [on TV] Live, from Broadway, it's the Tony Awards, with your hosts Tyne Daly and Hal Linden!

Bart Simpson: [With difficulty] Homer... change channel.

Homer Simpson: Can't! frozen!

[music on TV: "One chorus line of people...ô?]

Homer Simpson: [Family screams]

Homer Simpson: Urge to kill... rising...

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-07-07)

ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. What knight lives in that castle?

OLD WOMAN: No one live there.

ARTHUR: Well, who is your lord?

OLD WOMAN: We don't have a lord.

ARTHUR: What?

DENNIS: I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

ARTHUR: Yes.

DENNIS: ... But all the decision of that officer ...

ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

DENNIS: ... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs.

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: ... but a two-thirds majority ...

ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to shut up.

OLD WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?

ARTHUR: I am your king!

OLD WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-07-06)

Living is easy with eyes closed

Misunderstanding all you see

Source: John Lennon

Quote of the Day (2012-07-05)

Lisa: Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-07-04)

Tom Hanks: This is Tom Hanks saying, if you're gonna pick a government to trust, why not this one?

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2012-07-03)

This one goes to 11.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2012-07-02)

Tom: I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2012-07-01)

Charles: Ehm, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and... , particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think I love you," and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... Eh... Eh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot, he's not... Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... Better get on...

Carrie: That was very romantic.

Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral